Shake the Book: Burn the Fat & Fatten the Muscles by Reading the Books; Humor by Payman Akhlaghi (2014)

Shake the Book: Burn the Fat & Fatten the Muscles by Reading the Books
By Payman Akhlaghi (Humor, Draft 3)

(*) First published at Facebook.com/PAComposer on February 4th, 2014, under Shake the Book: Burn the Fat.... 

It came to my attention that reading has largely remained a stationary activity. Aside from the occasional use of the thumb and the index to turn a page or jot down a note, few other limbs get any exercise while we read. Also, as most of us have discovered, reading and eating need not be mutually exclusive; why, we even lie down next to a bag of chips to read an article on sports. The net result is that for every page traveled we may as well gain a fraction of a pound. As for reading while running on the mill, you'll never know whether the words, the legs, or the panting is getting the upper hand. And if you thought walking to the library to lift heavy books was exercise enough, that's no more as well since the instant delivery of the feather-weight eBooks.

But could we somehow concentrate to read and yet get trimmed? How could we integrate large bodily movements into the very act of reading? The solution might be found in a new category of reading experience called Shake Books. After all, gamers found ways to chop the air and dance their day before their TV screens, so why not the book worms?

Consider this: Your reading device, a Shake Book, which comes complete with adjustable weight and other applicable tools, will stop working unless you shake it literally every 5 minutes for 10 times or more. To turn the pages, you would need to squeeze a firm rubber ball and pull on a tough rubber band, of course, switching hands for facing pages. For each new chapter, you'd need to place your Shake Book on the floor and squat on it 5 times or more. Kinesthetic sensors enable intelligent orientation, allowing for complex Book Shakes that would require you to do sit ups, neck rotations, stretches, runs, and push ups, all the while as you enjoy reading your book. Needless to say, for variety and function, authors might program their unique Shake routines into the content of their books.

Imagine to read your Hesse, daily news, Shakespeare, or Facebook threads on your Shake Book. Too much distraction, you may complain. But didn't we adapt so far to almost everything?

Afterthought: Reflecting on my earlier days in the synagogue, moving to and fro waist-up while whispering the words, weren't we indeed treating the Siddur, the Jewish book of prayers, like a Shake Book?!

© 2014, Payman Akhlaghi. All rights reserved.

(*) Payman Akhlaghi is a composer, pianist and piano teacher based in Los Angeles. His repertoire covers Classical music, as well as Persian (Iranian) Music, Pop Music, and Film Music. For information on the lessons in the Greater Los Angeles area, including Beverly Hills, West Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Encino, Brentwood, etc. please call: 310-208-2927. Thank you.